Rajeev Masand – movies that matter : from bollywood, hollywood and everywhere else

August 13, 2010

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Unfortunately the title Old Hogs was already taken, or it might have been perfect for a film that stars Sylvester Stallone, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Jet Li and Dolph Lundgren, and features walk-on cameos by Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarznegger.

The Expendables, co-written and directed by Stallone himself, is a throwback to those good old mindless action movies of the 80s, except that the actual stunts and action choreography in this film didn’t need to be as old-fashioned and predictable as its plot.

Our heroes participate in a string of all-too-familiar gun-fights, car chases and explosion sequences in this tired tale about a bunch of mercenaries trying to take down a South American dictator and a former CIA operative-gone-rogue, while seeking to rescue a not-particularly-stunning damsel in distress.

The dialogues in this film are sparse, and the supposedly meaningful scenes make you giggle…like one in which Mickey Rourke recalls a moment in Bosnia when he knew his soul had dried up.

The Expendables is likely to work strictly for hardcore action-movie buffs, who might enjoy the frenetic pace of the blow-ups and shootings, and are willing to overlook the sheer cheesiness of this enterprise.

To be fair, although I prefer my action Jason Bourne style, I will confess I felt a certain thrill watching the legendary Stallone get down and dirty with younger, tougher guys. However, the climax is too long, and there isn’t a single fight scene that stands out for its originality or its unpredictability.

I’m going with two out of five for The Expendables. The only thing going for it is nostalgia. Thousands of bullets are fired, not one will graze our heroes; Stallone gets a tattoo imprinted on his back, doesn’t so much as wince. They don’t make movies like this anymore. People like me would say that’s a good thing!

(This review first aired on CNN-IBN)

August 06, 2010

Cast: Adrien Brody, Alice Braga, Topher Grace, Laurence Fishburne

Director: Nimrod Antal

Grabbing your attention from its very opening scene – in which Adrien Brody literally falls from the sky into a dense forest – Predators hits the ground running.

The film’s got a simple premise: a disparate group of tough-nut strangers find themselves marooned in a tropical jungle on a strange planet, being attacked by predatory aliens. Like the original film in the series, 1987’s Predator that starred Arnold Schwarznegger, the monsters in this movie sense the presence of humans by their body heat.

This fifth installment in the franchise, however, features more than one species of beasts. In a terrific early sequence the group of humans is attacked by a pack of multiple-horned boar-like creatures that look like they could rip you into shreds on immediate contact. The chief monsters in Predators are dreadlocked lizard-like extraterrestrials that can vanish and appear at will, thus proving a formidable enemy to the ordinary but armed humans.

Brody stars as Royce, a military mercenary, and the first in this group to figure that they have been selected as game on a hunting preserve, and that the predators will prey on them one by one. Alice Braga is a sharpshooter with a conscience; Topher Grace plays a nerdy doctor. The rest of this group comprises a Mexican mafia thug, a Russian soldier, a Japanese warrior, a gloomy African, and a sleazy death-row inmate in orange overalls.

The film starts off promisingly enough, as the group slowly begins to understand what kind of trouble they’re actually in. But it’s all downhill from the point Laurence Fishburne shows up as an exasperated survivor who has managed to stay out of the way of these beasts long enough for him to lead this group into his secret hiding place.

The special effects are not too bad, but in the end Predators is reduced to a typical cat-and-mouse chase movie with preposterous action. And that’s a pity, because it almost worked as a morality tale – this group of humans who were predators on earth, now finding the tables turned on them.

Not a complete waste of time if you enjoy the sci-fi/thriller genre, I’m going with two out of five for Predators. Watch it if you have the stomach for excessive blood-spill.

(This review first aired on CNN-IBN)

August 06, 2010

Cast: Voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segal, Russel Brand, Julie Andrews

Directors: Chris Renaud & Pierre Coffin

Contrary to its title, Despicable Me is a charming and hilarious animation film that kids and adults will equally enjoy.

Gru (voiced by Steve Carell) is a slightly over-the-hill villain who’s being beaten at his own game by the new kid on the block, a young bad guy named Vector (voiced by Jason Segal) who’s just stolen a pyramid from Egypt and replaced it with an inflatable replica. To show the world that he won’t be overthrown by an amateur upstart, and to prove he’s still got his evil mojo intact, Gru must come up with a brilliant plan that will establish him as the biggest, baddest villain of all time.

Gru decides he will steal the moon.

Working with him to pull off this coup is his chief consultant on the project, a mad scientist named Dr Nefario (voiced by Russel Brand), and the ‘Minions’ – dozens of small, yellow, capsule-shaped creatures who adore Gru, and who scurry about doing all kinds of jobs for him.

To steal the moon, they need to shrink it first, which means Gru must swipe the “shrink ray machine” from Vector’s den. So Gru adopts three little orphan sisters with the sole purpose of using them to distract Vector. It doesn’t take a genius to guess that once these adorable girls enter Gru’s home, they make their way into his heart as well.

Predictable but unabashedly cute, Despicable Me doesn’t shy away from tugging at your heartstrings. The little yellow ‘Minions’ are the most lovable creatures who evoke enormous affection without ever needing to use words. And the tale of the nasty fellow who’s actually a softie inside may be a familiar one, but it still works because Steve Carell turns Gru into such a vulnerable chap. His back-story – a kid traumatized by his mother’s indifference – lends this film some of it’s funniest moments.

At least one scene – a thrilling roller-coaster ride that Gru takes the girls on – justifies the price of watching this film in 3D, but its heart lies in its characters and their relationships. Expect to find a lump in your throat more than once, especially in the scenes between Gru and the little girls, and one particularly touching one in which the Minions offer him their savings to build a rocket after the bank turns down his request for a loan.

Despicable Me doesn’t have the sheer inventiveness of Up or the bravado of a film like Wall-E. But it’s a simple enough entertainer that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy in the end.

I’m going with three-and-a-half out of five for Despicable Me; it’s among the best animation films this year after Toy Story 3 and How To Train Your Dragon. Don’t miss it.

(This review first aired on CNN-IBN)